在研究论文里,善用平行结构,能修正许多写得不好的句子,也能适当的提升文句的易读性。平行结构是由语意上对等的元素所组成,如一系列的名词词组或形容词。下面我会说明平行结构中常见的错误以及如果修正,借此提供您参考。
平行比较
在某些研究中,试验变量与控制组相比较,以此确认试验变量的影响效果。让相比较的元素并列呈现,能让重要的比较讯息一目了然。首先比较的元素要对等,例如,您可以比较名词和名词,却不应该拿名词与副词比较:
原句:Exercise prescription but not changing the patient’s diet helped improve metabolism of overweight patients.(不正确)
看一看比较词but not两边,分别是名词词组exercise prescription和分词词组changing the patient’s diet。句中的比较元素显然不对等。我们可将分词词组改写成相对应的名词词组:
改句一:Exercise prescription but not dietary therapy helped improve metabolism of overweight patients.
或将名词词组改为分词词组:
改句二:Prescribing exercise but not changing the patient’s diet helped improve metabolism of overweight patients.
连接词(conjunctions)
平行结构的连接词可以使用either/or、neither/nor、not/but、not only/but also、both/and等。这些连接词可用于强调重点、讨论不同选项或呈现矛盾。重要的是用连接词连在一起的元素必须是对等的,如下例:
原句:Either patients were prescribed with exercise prescription or medications, but not both.(不正确)
这句是错的,因为either和or连接的是主谓组合patients were prescribed with exercise prescription和名词medications。要修正此句,我们可以将主谓组合改成名词:
改句:Patients were prescribed with either exercise prescription or medications, but not both.
改句的either和or连接了两个名词exercise prescription和medications,呈现正确平行结构。对比原句和改句,您会发现平行结构的句子更易理解。
学术写作中一个常见的平行结构错误是使用以上连接词,比较两个以上的事物,例如:
原句:We measured either body weight, body height, or BMI of each participant.(不正确)
连接词either/or只适用于两两比较,我们可以拿掉either,来修正此句:
改句:We measured heart rate, blood sugar, or blood pressure in each patient.
平行列表
列表是一句中有三项以上的列表。为求语意清楚,列表中的各元素,应该要符合语意上的一致,例如:
原句:The methods that can be used to treat cancer include surgery, chemotherapy, and with targeted therapy.(不正确)
您可能会注意到上面这句不太对劲,问题在于句子的非平行结构:surgery、chemotherapy是名词,而with targeted therapy是介词词组。我们可以把介词词组改成名词来加以修正:
改句:The methods that can be used to treat cancer include surgery, chemotherapy, and targeted therapy.
让我们看看另一个例子:
原句:We took pictures of the stomach, kidney, and analyzed the lesion.(不正确)
这句读起来怪怪的,因为analyzed the lesion是平行于took pictures的谓宾结构,不属于该列表。可作以下修正,将analyzed the lesion从列表中分离出来:
改句:We took pictures of the stomach and kidney, and analyzed the lesion.
对应介词
介词代表某物在哪里,或是何时发生了什么事,如in、on、under、over、after、before、at。介词词组包含介词及其宾语。在介宾结构的平行列表中,介宾结构必须完整。以下句为例:
原句:DNA fragments were extracted from blood samples, soft tissues, and after western blotting.(不正确)
本句不正确的原因在于soft tissues之前缺少介词,这个问题可以借由加上缺少的介词来修正。
改句:DNA fragments were extracted from blood samples, from soft tissues, and after western blotting.
不过如果各元素使用同一介词,则可省略掉重复的介词。例如:
原句:Teachers in elementary schools, in junior high schools, and in senior high schools were recruited as the participants.(不正确)
可以除去后面两个介词in,缩短成:
改句:Teachers in elementary schools, junior high schools, and senior high schools were recruited as the participants.
动词词组
要让动词词组的列表达成平行结构,相同的动词应该带出各元素,例如:
原句:The results indicated declined neuron activities, increased toxicity, and caused less desirable survival rates.(不正确)
此句有误是因为第三元素less desirable survival rates用了不同的动词caused,这样一来第三元素组合起来起变成The results indicated caused less desirable survival rates,明显的语法错误,而解决方法可以是把caused拿掉:
改句一:The results indicated declined neuron activities, increased toxicity, and less desirable survival rates.
或者我们可以将第三元素从列表中分离开来,而独立成句:
改句二:The results indicated declined neuron activities and increased toxicity. Less desirable survival rates were also caused.
清单
平行结构也包含条列式列表。看看下面的例子:
- to enable fast healing
- to minimize postsurgical bleeding
- reducing surgery-related complications
以上的最后一项以动名词reducing起头,显然与前两项的不定式结构不对等。该错误可以借由将动名词改为不定式来修正:
- to enable fast healing
- to minimize postsurgical bleeding
- to reduce surgery-related complications
或是通通改以动名词起头:
- enabling fast healing
- minimizing postsurgical bleeding
- reducing surgery-related complications.
省略结构
有时候在平行结构中使用省略结构(elliptical construction),会增进句子的易读性。比较以下两句:
Three participants received the intervention measure, two received the conventional approach, and two withdrew from the study.
Three participants received the intervention measure, two participants received the conventional approach, and two participants withdrew from the study.
以上两句都是正确的,但哪一句比较容易读?答案是第一句。省略重复的participants,句子变得简洁,也不会影响句意,更符合阅读习惯。但省略结构的不正确使用,也会导致阅读障碍。
Three participants received the intervention measure, two received the conventional approach, and two participants withdrew from the study.
这句会造成阅读停顿,读者思考为什么最后的元素要再加回participants,难道刚刚不是一直在谈participants吗?作者一定要站在读者的角度,去审视文句,保障阅读的顺畅性。
达到正确的平衡
这要您掌握以上要点,就算您不是写作专家,也能发现平行结构中的错误。错误的平行句是不平衡的,常常导致理解障碍。另外,使用省略结构一定要小心,不要反而影响读者阅读的流畅性。希望本文列出的注意要点,能有助于您写出正确的平行句构,让您的论文能更清楚地表达意涵。